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It was mind-boggling, but I didn’t feel like sobbing, and I didn’t feel the usual pain in my chest the whole time. I sat up, thought about Mike, and, feeling nothing but the urge to eat something, got up and took a shower.

The lovely and smiling Frances Gilmore, who was both our tour guide and local entertainment host for the duration of our stay, came to pick me up at 1 p.m. local time. Our entire group was gathered in the hotel restaurant to be fed various delicacies. I was the only one of the group who was quiet and relaxed. Even the process of eating an apple dragged on for a full minute.20

During the meal, I was able to get to know all the members of the forum. So sitting next to me at lunch was Catherine Blanc, an employee of a big computer company called Molose Corporations. She and her roommate, Bill Davis, were working together on IT technology, which they were arguing about with Martin Hall, the young kid sitting across from me. Sitting next to Martin was Scotty Young, a prominent programmer and online gaming enthusiast. He had Wright Walker and Lizzie Brooks in his chat room, who also happened to be specific players. Gary and Diane Hughes, a domestic couple, were also present, and they sat together, occasionally asking each other things while they stuffed their bellies. And finally Eric Russell, a handsome blond man with a regular American grin and two30 teeth. Eric reeked of his stifling toilet water from a meter away, and I had to turn away from him to Catherine as he sat, to my left.

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