Читать книгу Miranda Sparks’ wonderful life онлайн

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I stood under a strong head of cool water in the shower stall. I needed the water to keep me from feeling my tears running and tasting salty. I grabbed a sponge and began angrily rubbing my arms, legs, stomach, and breasts with it. All of my actions were very vigorous, as if I were having a fit of anger or self-loathing. I felt dirty, as if I were in someone else’s skin. It pained me that the only man I had ever adored had abandoned me in such a subtle way. He had traded my love for means, and that hurt even more. How hard it is to think of yourself as nothing, in the eyes of a man to whom you have given all of yourself.

Clutching the sponge firmly in my hands, I slowly rolled down the shower wall. I was shattered and wrung out with powerlessness. After a few minutes, I still managed to get out of the shower and into bed. Curled up, shaking from the cold, I closed my eyes and counted to10. It helped me calm down when I needed it. My psychologist, Mr. Cooper, told me to do this counting to avoid any sensory outbursts, and I only used this technique against insomnia. It worked for me.