Читать книгу Crocodile Tears онлайн

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She sobs. Through the tears she sees her father’s serious face, the lighter flame once again burning bright and then going out, clicking and exploding, his furrowed brow, the narrow, tense lips, his tall thin body, the black shoes that now, without the light, are just dark, opaque. She sobs, afraid 22of what is about to come, and amid the tears a bitter taste gradually forms in her mouth, the start of a sticky resentment that makes her tremble more violently.

She hears other steps approaching from the kitchen, sees the silhouette of the cook in her white apron against the small triangle of light. Ursula can’t see the face but she hears the panting breath and closes her eyes, anticipating the woman’s smile before she opens her eyes again and watches the shadow disappear. She trembles, she tosses and turns, fear and rage turning her saliva bitter, burning it, dissolving it.

Her father, who on this sunny afternoon is still alive, removes the key from the lock, stops for a few moments, perhaps wavering; perhaps he might forgive her, Ursula thinks in a final glimmer of optimism, perhaps he’ll open the windows, let the light in and allow her to leave. Yes, she watches him hesitate at the door; Daddy is good and she doesn’t hate him, she’s just a bit afraid of him when she sees how tall and thin he is, the tallest, thinnest man in the world.