Читать книгу I Am Nobody. Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life онлайн

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I thought I was on my game. I was in the zone, a dominant player on my team, in my league, and I was now being tutored and mentored by a leading figure in the game. I thought I could see everything in front of me, that everything was finally coming my way. It all looked so promising, so attainable, so very real.

But in reality, I couldn’t see anything.

THREE

ATTACKED

THERE WAS NEVER a clear start to what he was doing, never a moment to look back on where I could say to myself, “There, it’s so obvious what he was doing, I should have never let it happen.” But then again, when I look back on all of this, all I can see now is that every single interaction with him was just such a moment, when “Of course, it’s all so clear what he was doing. How could I have been so weak, so stupid, to let this all happen?” is the only possible response.

In a sense, our relationship just evolved from our initial meetings. I devoured Graham’s progressive theories about hockey systems and his love of fast-skating defensemen and speedy forwards who went deep into their own end to win back possession of the puck. I craved the attention he gave me in our meetings, being treated as a peer, as an adult, as somebody more than I was at home. I felt fortunate that he was willing to help me progress with my hockey and my academics, that he was willing to mentor me and bring out the best in me. So, when he suggested that we meet not at a restaurant but at a school field for a training session, I was ecstatic.