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It would be a mistake to assume that Musashi and the karateka, because they avoided violence in these instances, would not ever have resorted to fighting. If the streetcorner punk had grabbed the karateka’s wife or physically assaulted him, the results would have been immediate and, for the assailant, unforgettable. Musashi killed dozens of opponents on the battlefield or in duels. Yet because of their training, both men responded in a way that left no one injured or killed since they saw that neither situation warranted it.

Distinguishing between an attack on our egos and an actual physical assault is easy to determine in retrospect. When confronted with the actual circumstances, the difference can be blurred by anger or fear. When my driving elicits an obscene gesture from someone in another car, my immediate impulse is to become equally angry and to return the gesture or shout. But if I think for only a moment, I realize my anger is probably due to the fact that I am a lousy driver (to which anyone who’s ever ridden with me will attest). The other motorist, by bringing it so rudely to my attention, is taking a poke at my ego that is difficult to ignore. While an average sized person standing in a line might think nothing of a jostle from behind, the skinny fellow beside him might well be quick to return the shove back out of the fear that, because of his diminutive size and equally frail ego, he is being threatened.

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