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She always tried not to show her weakness even the things hurt her too much, but understanding that showing herself as a weak she only worsen the situation, although she had another strategy as being a Scorpio, she knew she could hurt people in any time when they anticipated it less possible to happen, actually she tried not to be so cruel because of her religion. However it wasn’t always possible for her staying sunny and positive, it showed her diary where she wrote:

“18.03.11.

Dear diary,

I can’t stand it any longer, the only that I’ve been doing these days is crying, moreover I can’t help stopping it. I think I’ve been spending my life on foolish things. If I hadn’t done these thing, I would be in London now and learn English there and all my dreams would come true. I don’t know how to do my coursework, it’s so exhausting and hard to get things right. I am nobody in this world, absolutely nothing. The only thing I want now is to get out of here, find a boy who would take care of me or marry an actor, Paul Wesley would be a great one. (Paul Wesly is an American actor, famous as Stephan in a TV drama ‘The vampire diaries’ born also in Poland who she was in love with). Oh holy mackerel, why is it so difficult to live?”