Читать книгу Unspoken words онлайн

8 страница из 66

If we dig deep down, my exigency of other people being around me was unbearable. I always wanted to have a special male friend who in the moments of difficulty would have come and listened to me, comforted me and tell the words and would like to hear or just hug me and all the pain would have subsided, all the fears would have gone. I was particularly interested in a male friend as I didn’t have one, well, one time I had one but I happened not to notice him, typical of me. Plus, being a girl I guess I wanted to feel a kind of protection which only a male could give. Only at the age of 22 years I comprehended that I didn’t actually need that special friend, but we will return to that later.

I had two classmates who were incredibly thick as thieves; I hit it off with them as well. However I never shared my story of alcoholic abuse at the family to somebody. It was stifling my breath, constricting my throat and strangling out the ability of speaking to anyone about that matter, as I clearly understood how judgmental people were, what they were going to think about me and stuff, I would be riddled and ashamed. So, I just hung out with the guys enjoying their company and loving the feeling of happiness I got each time I turned out to be with them.