Читать книгу I Am Nobody. Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life онлайн

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He rubbed my legs. He fondled me. He masturbated me. He exposed himself. He rubbed himself on my face and inserted his penis in my mouth. He returned his focus to my feet. He masturbated and ejaculated over my feet and shins.

I did nothing. Well, I guess that’s not completely true, as I did respond in a small way, with a kick, but it was, at most, a halfhearted one, more a straightening of a leg than anything else, something you do when you’re pretending to wake up with a jolt rather than hit somebody deliberately. Whatever you’d call what I did, it certainly did not prevent him from accomplishing whatever goals he had set out to achieve.

He groaned. He turned away, turned his back to me, and walked away, leaving me by myself for several minutes. And when it was over, once he had finished with my body—well, how could I make sense of what had just happened? How could I explain that I didn’t attack him, that I didn’t lash out and stand up to him and stop him right then and there? And today, how can I reconcile what I wish I had done back then to avoid this, to stop it, with what I didn’t do then?