Читать книгу I Am Nobody. Confronting the Sexually Abusive Coach Who Stole My Life онлайн

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Instead of running, I felt sorry for him. Oh, I was full of rage and fear, but at the same time he had somehow made himself come across as a victim in all of this, presenting his homosexuality as something that caused him pain. He showed a vulnerability and needed support. I felt sorry for him. I actually felt sorry for him.

I walked home, a zombie detached from the world around me. I cried like I’d never cried before in my life. It was a long walk, a route I usually jogged at a leisurely pace, but I couldn’t breathe properly. It was very cool outside, that I remember, but that’s about all. I couldn’t feel anything. I was off in my own world, far removed from this one. Lights were blurry, and once again I couldn’t really hear anything. Was I in shock? Probably. I cried in solitude during my walk home. There is so much that I don’t remember, that I don’t want to remember, that I have actively tried to forget over all of these years. But there is also so much I will never, ever be able to forget.